How childhood trauma changes relationships? Criticism can be helpful in the right time and in the right place, but what we need even more than criticism is love and respect. Escaping the shackles of a judgmental or ridiculing parent starts with loving yourself radically and unashamedly. The most explosive rebellion you can engage in, when it comes to dealing with poor caretakers, is owning your right to respect and self-love in every single aspect of your life. Do this by writing a new narrative for yourself. Lean into your boundaries and stop looking toward the guidance of those that would hurt you for their own personal fulfillment or gain. We are the masters of our own destinies, but that can be hard to see when you have a mountain of childhood pain resting behind you. Let go of the darker influences in your past, and lean into embracing the destiny you want for yourself and the chosen family you’re building.

Ludus is a child-like and flirtatious love commonly found in the beginning stages of a relationship (a.k.a. the honeymoon stage). This type of love consists of teasing, playful motives and laughter between two people. Although common in young couples, older couples who strive for this love find a more rewarding relationship. Your emotions allow you to feel giddy, excited, interested and involved with another person. Mania is an obsessive love towards a partner. It leads to unwanted jealousy or possessiveness — known as codependency. Most cases of obsessive love are found in couples with an imbalance of love towards each other. An imbalance of Eros and Ludus is the main cause of Mania. With healthy levels of playful and romantic love, the harm of obsessive love can be avoided.

Explain to your child that you trust that they will follow the rules, and if they don’t, they should trust in the fact that you will be consistent in the way you respond to this type of behavior. Remember that some young children will not remember all of the rules you may make, so having visual reminders, or reminding a child of the rules as they enter a particular situation, will make it less likely they will break the rules. As your child gets older and earns your trust through following the rules, you can give more responsibility and freedom, and they will need fewer reminders.

According to psychologists, there are five types of love styles. First, the pleaser, who often grows up in a household with an overly protective or angry and critical parent. Second, the victim, who often grows up in a chaotic home with angry or violent parents and tries to be compliant in order to fly under the radar. Third, the controller, who grows up in a home where there wasn’t a lot of protection so s/he has learned to toughen up and take care of themselves. Fourth, the vacillator, who grows up with an unpredictable parent and develop a fear of abandonment. And fifth, the avoider, who grows up in a less affectionate home that values independence and self-sufficiency. See more info at click here for childhood memories affecting relationship.

If you find that self-care is assisting with your mental health but you still need more assistance, you may want to seek professional help. Therapists can help with breaking down the emotions associated with childhood trauma. There are many therapeutic approaches to addressing childhood trauma. They provide a safe space for you to share your experiences so you may continue healing. As impressionable children we are greatly affected by our surroundings. When it comes to trauma, the emotional and physical effects can last a lifetime. By seeking professional help, addressing the traumatic incident, and learning new behaviours, one can begin to heal and learn the signs of unhealthy relationships. Understanding and acknowledging the impact of the trauma on the relationship is the first step to healing.