Divorce is a very serious process and nobody should get through it alone. Divorce support group Get prepared. Do your research and interview several lawyers through referrals and try to find one you feel comfortable with. Get a therapist or a life coach, take up yoga, and make sure your accountant is available to help you. Then let your lawyer work for you and protect you. Turn off from the divorce process at night and on the weekends and focus on things that make you happy and that you’re grateful for instead.
If you have debt in your name, like credit cards or student loans, you will want to pay those debts down as much as possible before a divorce. Most American families spend close to their entire income, if not more, and when one household becomes two, there is often not enough money to pay the both sets of expenses unless something changes. You may have to cut down disposable purchases, sell your car and get a less expensive model, or maybe sell the house. If your spouse does not voluntarily support you and the children, your remedy is to ask the Court to order support. You will not have a good prediction of any of this and you will not know the answers for sure until the agreement is signed or the judge makes a ruling. But, the point is to think about it and identify problems and possible solutions. Then take the actions that you can take and avoid missteps.
The best advice for divorcing parents I’ve received and share with my clients is: Be sure that you love your kids more than you may hate your ex! Otherwise, you will make decisions based on anger, resentment, revenge, hurt, or retaliation. And that ultimately affects the well-being of your children. Kids love both parents and are hurt, confused and torn when parents ask them to take sides, become confidants, messengers, or spies. What I learned is that children not put in this position do better during and after the divorce. They are not exposed to parental conflict and they adapt better to post-divorce life. The advice I have for all divorcing parents is to be a role model for your children. Show them how to cope with challenges and adversity with dignity, maturity, and integrity. Teach them to pick their battles and learn to let go of anger and resentment. Your kids will thank you in the long run.
If you and your spouse can work together to reach a fair settlement on most or all of the issues in your divorce (eg., child custody, child support, alimony, and property division), choosing mediation to resolve your divorce case may save thousands of dollars in legal fees and emotional aggravation. The mediation process involves a neutral third-party mediator (an experienced family law attorney trained in mediation) that meets with the divorcing couple and helps them reach an agreement on the issues in their divorce. Mediation is completely voluntary; the mediator will not act as a judge, or insist on any particular outcome or agreement.
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